It had to happen. For the first time in the 5,000 year history of the Jewish faith, one of our own will be living at the White House. Ok, for 4,800 years of that, there was no White House, and if there was it was referring to a little hut in the Judean hills that Shlomo Yaankovich built out of local chalk-stone to house his wife, Bertha, and their seventeen children. But now we’re talking THE WHITE HOUSE!! The big one. In Washington. Because if Kamala Harris wins the election, her husband, Doug Emhoff, will be the First Husband, but will change that honorific to The First Jew. Which has always previously been Abraham, but now, there’s a new kid on the block. Possibly a ‘new yid on the block’ but I know that fans of certain London football clubs take issue with such terminology, so I’ll refrain.

And its not like they’re having a Jewish president, just the First… person of coital importance. Everyone in America loves a title. They fought a war to rid themselves of kings, queens, lords and ladies, then spent the next 350 years obsessing about sounding as important as they can by using titles.

And all Kamala has to do to make this dream come true, is win the election. The dream, of course, is for the people who make mezzuzahs. They’re little boxes which Jewish people have on their doorposts which contain a little holy scroll and, essentially, ward off evil spirits. As all ‘things’ people stick on doors are supposed to do. But we do them on every door (no toilets, please), inside and out. So for the White House; oyyy, that’s a lot of doors.

But is America ready to vote for Kamala? She’s a ‘woman of colour’, though not a great deal of colour, but all woman. And let’s face it, half of America is pretty much in the dark ages, culturally speaking. There’s virtual segregation in many states, obviously not officially but in any practical sense. The bible bashers all have… ‘classical’ views on ‘a woman’s place’ (read yesterday’s Times article about the Mormon woman who’s a working farmer with 8 kids and she’s just 34). So are they ready to vote for a woman? There’s no question that Trump supporters (same demographic as stated above) won’t be changing sides any time soon.

Yet they really can’t have any other candidate. Kamala is quite unpopular across the political spectrum for her failure to do the American equivalent of stopping the small boats. They don’t use boats there, they just walk across from the massive Mexican border. But Kamala is who they will get on the Democrat side.

Because the funding for the ‘Biden-Harris’ election campaign is already in place. And even though it will become the ‘Harris-???’ ticket, the money’s still good. All $200million of it. But if anyone else stands, they need to find that kind of money themselves.

I’d vote for Kamala. Because I reckon they’d to a really fantastic Friday Night Dinner at the White House and I might get an invite one day.

Happy Monday

A xxxx