Its amazing (and, ok, a bit sad… tragic almost) how much I miss football. Last weekend’s ‘International break’, though tolerable in that JUST GET THROUGH IT!!! way, was awful. When they kicked off yesterday afternoon, I sighed a big, loving, healthy sigh of relief. I missed my children when they moved out from home (kicked out, actually), but nothing like the emotion and upset caused by one week of Premiership missing.

And what a week. For Bournemouth. Fucking Bournemouth!!!! Beating Hull 6-1. Great result for the Bournes. I like that name. Its Jason, its tough, ruthless, its Matt Damon, Robert Ludlum. ‘Cherries’ is a bit limp, I’m afraid. Its ok in Division 1 but not for where they are now.

Spurs went to West Bromwich. Lucky Spurs. And we were great, then we were shit, then Nacer Chadli, of all people, did what all Spurs rejects do and scored against his old masters. Then Dele Alli equalised so we still haven’t lost a game. But we have lost a player. Not just ‘a player’ but probably the most important player in the world.

Toby Alderweireld. Him. Spurs best player since the day he arrived. The most amazing Belgium since Tintin. Ok, you fucking think of famous Belgiums. Not counting Eddie Merx (because most people over 35 won’t know the name) or Jean Claude van Dam who is very silly. Belgium simply doesn’t produce people of interest other than footballers. Yet oddly produces a disproportionately high number of those.

And Toby twisted his knee. And knees are horrible things. As in ‘out for months’ kind of horrible, but we don’t know yet. Need some scans. Oh please let it be just… just… something not very bad.

Arsenal were at times horribly brilliant and at others wonderfully fragile as they pretty much blew away Swansea. Theo Walcott will be 98 years old by the time we actually decide whether he’ll ever reach ‘all that potential’. Having for years failed in his efforts to be a consistent ‘scorer of great goals’, he’s actually now not doing badly as a ‘great scorer of goals’. From Thierry Henry to Gary Linneker in one season. But both only in wild aspiration.

Manchester City. ‘The team to watch’ according to all who ‘know’. Yet they can’t win a game at the moment. Missing one penalty is unfortunate. Missing two… shows that ‘stutter-stepping’ is for absolute tossers. Even if those tossers look remarkably like Sergio Aguero, the best player in England. But you gotta love Pep Guardiola. He’s a mensch. Bet he’s really looking forward to returning to Barcelona on Tuesday after City’s poor run of form.

If you don’t like football, I have no idea why you’re still reading this. But if you don’t, then go and see Hunt for the Wilderpeople instead. Its a truly wonderful, very different and absolutely charming New Zealand film. Totally magical and brilliant.

Happy Sunday, get well Toby, get well

A xxxx