Rishi Sunak is clever. He’s stuck with NHS waiting lists which, quite frankly, he could do without. They almost sit there as a constant reminder of how unworking/unworkable, the NHS machine really is. Over 7 million people are waiting for something or other. Which represents 14% of our nation. One in 7 people requires medical care to some degree. Which is almost impossible to believe except probably half are just waiting for a sick note to be ‘signed off’ from work for a nice rest.

Rishi promised to ‘reduce waiting lists’. Yet after the pandemic, when all ‘non-essential’ procedures ceased for a long period, came ‘the strikes’, during which ‘non-essentials’ got fucked over once again. And many of these ‘non-essentials’ have things like cancer, which, unfortunately, over time, tend to become very very ‘essential’.

As the obvious (if a bit mindless and unsustainable) solution is to pump another 17 trillion quid into more units, more scanners, more doctors, nurses and more everything, Rishi instead has decided to tackle the waiting list problem a different, slightly ‘non-medical’ way. He’s restructuring the lists themselves. Its a bit like printing money to pay off national debts. Just shift the emphasis elsewhere. Particularly with an election coming up and ‘reducing waiting lists!!!’ is one of Rishi’s keystones. So, for cancer patients, he’s creating three new lists, from which, basically one third can safely be removed. Bringing the numbers down, the statistics look better and his claims appear a little more realistic. Brilliant.

Obviously the sick people are still sick people and if you have cancer you’re still not going to be seen for 3 months, but it looks better. Which must be good, right?

The NHS don’t cover Saudi Arabia. Where Steven Gerrard manages a football team containing all of Europe’s old veterans. So Jordan Henderson made his debut last night for the team to which Neymar is flying to right now, and they’re all earning billions. But that debut was played, at night, in 35 degrees and about 90% humidity. Just what ‘old men’, already struggling with fitness, really need to help their ageing bones. Apparently Saudi hospitals are great. For anyone earning more than 200 grand a week.

Happy, healthy Tuesday

A xxxx