I’ve always been a bit ‘sporty’. I like playing games and if a bat and/or ball are involved then so much the better. Unless its a golf bat, then you can keep it and I’ll go watch a box-set. And as a working definition of ‘sport’, if you don’t end up with sweaty bollocks then it ain’t one. Just a ‘working definition’, on a very personal level, which I appreciate won’t apply to everyone. Particularly women. But that’s their loss.

I also appreciate that there are ‘sports’ and there are ‘sports’. Some are solitary; runnin’, swimmin’, bikin’, and others are more directly competitive. I suppose boxing is the ultimate. Tennis pretty much up there too. Which makes them a bit more sociable. Or, in boxing’s case, antisocial. I suppose you could go for your 10 mile run with a mate, but by mile 6 neither of you would be capable of speech. Biking can be sociable as long as you don’t need eye contact which could be fatal.

It really comes down to what you like doing. I always preferred sports of the fast/frantic variety. Endurance stuff never really appealed. Still doesn’t. I lack the patience. And probably the fitness, stamina, endurance and ability.

But I think I want to do a triathlon. I was reading about it today, the upsurge, how ‘everyone’s doin it’. And I like that bit when they cross the finish line even though the preceding 6 hours of pain and agony I could probably live without. But I just need to up my levels. I already cycle every day, to the tube station. And back (8 hours later). That’s probably half a mile in total. I run after tennis balls for hours, I just need to focus it into a straight line with no balls for guidance. And I can swim. For minutes on end. Well, not so much ‘swim’ in any meaningful way, more ‘splash around cooling off after an intense sun-bathe’. I’ve even been known to do 10 lengths in one go!! Keeping Mel company (swimming is the most unsociable of all sports, unless disruption is your aim) but after that I give up the will to live and leave her to do just another 90 or so alone.

So how hard can it be? An IronMan. Swim a couple miles, cycle a hundred or so, then a full, 26-mile marathon. Phah! But I can’t afford it.

They reckon it cost over 5 grand a year to partake in a couple of marathons. They don’t generally have them at Golders Green Station or my local park. And you have to buy a special bike, special shoes… errrr… goggles be useful and a wet-suit. They have a triathlon at Alcatraz. The prison they built because it sits in waters so cold and so shark-infested that no-one ever managed the swim to the shore. I suppose that could actually make you swim a bit quicker. The thought of IMMINENT DEATH will do that to a man/woman/person/thing.

Or I could just play my tennis, chatting away, drinking coffee, trash talking, and stay in my comfort zone. And pocket the 5k. Hmmmm… I need to think about this.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx

PS: note Joey’s Wimbledon kit. Bless. He’s gonna be better than Nadal. Who didn’t wear a tennis baby-gro til he was 7 months old!!! Hah!!