Yippe-yiiy-yaay; Uber have been given another licence to… to Ube. Once more we can press a button on our phones and be taken anywhere in the entire fucking world for nothing. Well, not exactly ‘nothing’ but without the need to handle that dirty, folding stuff for payment. And that is, quite frankly, brilliant. A 15-month ‘stay of execution’ granted ‘on probation’. To appease the 850,000 Londoners who helped the appeal. The argument levelled by Mayor Sadiq Tosser of TFL and his personal army of ‘Ackney Carriage drivers is that of depriving individuals of their livelihood. Which was not the nature of the failed licence, which was about safety, security and other issues. Because we don’t allow monopolies here, even lovely quaint ones like black cabs. And the argument against, basically, viable competition could be leveled by corner shop owners every time a Tesco local or M&S Foods or a Lidl the size of a small African state opens in their neighbourhood.

So Uber goes on in London and the 850,000 people who signed the petition had their wish come true.

Uber is very clever. You get it on your phone, you part with no cash, your destination is in there when the driver arrives to pick you up. And it works brilliantly. Efficiently. Reliably. Until you go abroad, then its a whole n’other kind’a experience.

In Delhi we paid £1.20 for a journey of 20 minutes. Bargain. In Russia you’re warned by everyone ‘DON’T USE THE TAXIS! THEY’RE THIEVES, MURDERERS, RAPISTS AND VAGABOND COSSACKS!!’, so you call an Uber and you get the same basic personality type but with the constraint that Uber brings. That they’re not allowed to rip you off, rape you, murder you or whatever. They don’t have to be ‘nice’ though, and they’re certainly not. But good value and almost reliable sometimes. Almost.

In Rome last week it was different again. You pay more for an Uber than a taxi. But they come in fancy schmancy BMWs and Audis. And the drivers smell nice. But aren’t always that reliable in arrival times and stuff.

But basically and, probably unaccountably, I DO trust Uber. With my daughters, with my ancient father, with my wife and, most importantly (always) with me. So I’m glad they’re still going. And we’re used to them, they just can’t take them away. We can’t ‘un-know’ them, can we?

Happy Wednesday, BENNY!

A xxxx