The rains returned to this part of Mexico this morning. No problem, so we swam in the rain. It’s warm here anyway and what’s the worst that can happen? You get wet. But then yoga was abandoned half way through because it didn’t merely rain, it cascaded down in biblical fashion. And the instructor was understandably concerned… about his speaker getting wet. Never mind a dozen flabby old Canadians and Brits fucking drowning doing ‘Cobra’, he was concerned for his ‘devices’.

So we did the only viable thing you can do in such circumstances: go to a timeshare presentation and face the hard sell for an hour and a half so Mel could get a free massage in the Spa later. Though it was amusing. It went like this:

This holiday cost you so many dollars (they don’t have pounds here), which works out at so much per day. All your other holidays cost you so much more per night, per person, per flight, per anything else we can add in to confuse you. That works out at 620 dollars per calendar night of full moons taken over the next 7.3 years. If you add on food (otherwise you’ll starve) and drink (otherwise you’ll be sober) and free umbrellas in the rooms, that works out at $36,497.22! If you join our ‘club’ (they’re all fucking ‘clubs’) we’ll discount your future rates at our hotels, plus every other big-name hotel in the world!!!!, (except the ones not included), all at minimum of 20% discount, maximum of 55%!!!!, which is like for free!!! (Most will be fully booked at the time of the first 7 attempts, the rest will laugh when you mention ‘The Club’). PLUS!!!!, we’ll add in a free week of something for every 10 weeks during which someone in the family sustains an injury, AND we’ll give you lots of other things which, if added up together… SAVE YOU ALMOST NOTHING OF ANY VALUE!!!! So just give us $20,000 and sign here.

As Dale Carnegie said: there’s one born every minute.

Alas though, one dies every minute too. And in today’s minute, it was Pele. Who was, for purposes of the next few weeks, until the obits and the dedications and the endless (I hope) documentaries run out, ‘the greatest footballer ever’. For me that works any time but others may choose another ‘god of the game’ in due course. Possibly an Argentinian. Or two.

Raise a glass for Pele. I loved watching him play like no other before or since.

Happy Thursday

A xxxx