I’ve decided to enter the word ‘Starm’ into the English vocabulary. I starm, you starm, he is a total fucking Starmer, we Starm… ya get the idea. Its a verb. You’ve seen those before. Even if most of you wouldn’t know it was a verb. Or it can be a noun. Either way, it means prevarication, obfuscation, pig-ignorance, obliviousness, rictus grin, moronic behaviour, wet as a test match in Manchester, clueless and ugly. So you can see; it is a very useful word, possibly the most comprehensive insult you could ever need. “He really starmed me”, means you had the worst day imaginable.

But here’s Sir Kier’s latest lovverly dilemma, which he’ll doubtless be addressing with the same incisive, razor-sharp focus as he gave to anti-semitism in his Corbyn years. Uxbridge-gate!

The conservatives held Uxbridge in the by-election which, really, should never have happened and must be seen as not just a loss but a catastrophe for the Starm Party. The seat was theirs for the taking but they blew it for one reason. ULEZ. The controversial plan to charge cars which emit… stuff at a higher level than Sadiq Kahn can cope with. And he’s a Labour mayor, so its a ‘Labour thing’ in the minds of the electorate. Yet we all know that, whilst ULEZ sounds like a pollution issue, like its about a cleaner city, in reality its just a tax. Thus many other cities are watching eagerly to see how ULEZ pans out because they want some of those seemingly green pounds coming their way too. Thus elevating the debate to national levels.

Which scares Starmer because he has delusions of Prime Ministerial aspirations, even though he’s worthless. So here’s his dilemma.

Green issues are BIG. Any plan which even sounds like its ‘helping’ reduce carbons or increasing vegetable levels or stopping cows farting, is perceived as part of our ‘cleaner nation by 2026!, possibly 2030!!!, maybe2040!!! but definitely 2050!!!’ As long as it all goes to plan. So having created the ULEZ monster, if Sir Kier just starms it out of the window, he may gain a few more voters, particularly those who work hard and can’t afford newer cars, like many labour voters, but he’ll lose the greener vote.

Leaving him and his party on the political merry-go-round of cynicism and electioneering, trying to calculate which would lose or gain more votes, abandoning ULEZ or keeping it, whilst what he should be doing is working out what is best for Britain and standing firm, regardless.

This would be a big problem in my life if I didn’t enjoy watching the man squirm so much.

Happy Monday

A xxxx