As Spurs led the way to VE Day celebrations, with their own little ‘victory in Europe’, it’s reassuring to look and see how the world is a different place from its 1945 version. It has learned from its mistakes, and those of its forefathers, and has almost eliminated stupid and unnecessary wars from modern day life. The First World War was known as ‘the war to end all wars’, and that remained true for at least 21 years before the next war began in 1939. And ended in 1945, which should have given it the inherited claim as ‘the new war to end all wars’. But trouble was already brewing. As Germany was divided between the victors, a rift began between ‘east’ and ‘west’. Based on complete distrust and opposing political philosophies, the ‘cold war’ started almost as the old war ended. And although it never came to actual blows, it almost reached ‘push the atomic button’ time on several occasions.

Anyway, I’m glad wars are over now, officially consigned to history. No more will legions of our best young men be marched off to be slaughtered for someone else’s unreasonable and intransigent beliefs. The world is at peace.

Well, except for Ukraine.
Gaza.
Sudan.
Myanmar.
Congo.
Yemen.

In fact, the whole fucking world is at war. Especially now that India and Pakistan are exchanging missiles across the Kashmir. It’s a typical playground push-fight, when each push gets harder until someone actually lands a punch. But immediately after each ‘push’, the pushing nation immediately declares its push to be ‘proportionate’ and ‘non-excalatory’. Whilst the one being pushed makes immediate accusations of ‘disproportionality’ and ‘escalation!’ And remember, ‘both these nations have nuclear capabilities!!!!’ You can’t actually forget because the press remind us every single time the problem is mentioned. Because it’s more sensational that way? Or because it makes us all very jittery? Makes the fight a bit more personal as we imagine ‘easterly winds’ bringing something much more sinister than cold weather? Who knows why they do it; they’re the press.

But thank God for Donald Trump!!! Who stepped in last night and caused an immediate ceasefire. Aided by a whole team of other fuckwits, like David Lammy, Trump convinced these two nations to adopt peace. At least temporarily. But peace between India and Pakistan is only ever temporary anyway, as it has been since 1948.

Trump was inspired by ‘chicken kashmiri’ in his local take-away. Because it’s the same colour he is. And stains clothes and work surfaces bright orange just like his ‘tan’ does.

Well done ‘Don the peacemaker’.

Happy Saturday

A xxxx