How is it a ‘tropical paradise’ if you can’t get Sky Sports 1??

You can eat as many meals as you like, drink all the Mai Tais and Mojitos, walk as many beers along the beach as your heart desires (not sure incessant beer-drinking when already 14 stone overweight is good for your heart anyway: I’ll check on that) but if Spurs are playing Manchester United it simply needs to be seen.

It wasn’t on in the rooms; didn’t have the channel. I went to the gym (yep, THAT fucking desperate) but it wasn’t’ on all the screens there and I was getting frantic.

Though ‘frantic’ round here is not the same as it is back home. Round here frantic is having to turn over to even up the suntan. Frantic is having to walk 40 yards to the next bar because this one’s run out of ice. Running out of tequila would be beyond frantic; that would be a NATIONAL DISASTER.

Anyway, finally heard that there was a screen here showing the match and I duly pitched up (at the Teens Club, funny I’d never found that building before) to find 6 Spurs fans and one ‘just like football, me’ which I read as ‘never spent this long with my girlfriend before and its FUCKING SUFFOCATING ME so I had to get away’.

And Spurs went 2-0 up as I walked in the door. And I cried. Before the first person had time to shout ‘stop that ya fucking girl’ Man United had pulled a goal back. Creating every Spurs fan’s favourite; the 25 minute panic. Can we hold on? Can we stifle?? Could we get a third goal? No to that one, very unlikely as we’d kind of chanced upon the first two out of nothing and it would be most unlikely to get a third. So we enter ‘HOW-LONG-LEFT? TIME’. And its horrible.

Manchester United had numerous penalty appeals turned down by the ref. To which David Moyes was indignant and appalled and felt cheated and held the referee personally responsible for the loss.

TOSSSSERRRRRRR.

You don’t lose matches because of penalty appeals rejected, Davey-boy, you lose because you don’t score sufficient goals to win. And although referees give more penalties to United at Old Trafford, its a bit much to just expect one to come along when you need one and ask the ref nicely.

Furthermore, if three Spurs players had pulled Ashley Young to the ground and ceremonially disembowelled him in their penalty area, the penalty would not have been given. Such is the little diving, simulating, cheating shit’s reputation that he could not buy a penalty for all the money in a Far East gambling syndicate. His reputation somewhat precedes him.

We held on, like we did in the same fixture last year, and continued our amazing away record and ‘kept in touch’ pointwise. All we can hope to do.

I left the teens club and had a new spring in my step. The flowers looked brighter, the sun shinier, the leaves greener, the air clearer. The world was just a better place to be in.

I love 2014 already,

Happy thursday

A xxxx