I’ve heard of the ‘naughty step’ where errant children are forced so sulk whilst contemplating the errors of their ways. That its not acceptable to show your hatred of broccoli by dumping it into grandma Gina’s lap. That the cat’s tail is attached permanently and should not be removed so it can be wrapped around a dolly. Other kids get sent to their rooms ‘to teach them right from wrong’. Mainly because we can no longer thump children round the head with broom handles. Iss illegal. So we have to be more subtle; more gentle in our punitive measures.

Different in Japan. Tough love. Sorry, Son, ya gotta learn the hard way. So even though you’re only 7, I’m gonna kick you out of the car, alone, in the middle of a fucking forest that’s filled with bears and probably a few snakes, jagged bushes, thorns, big holes to twist ankles, cos you gotta learn how to behave. Bye.

Its the Samurai way. Its the warrior way. He had to learn.

6 days later little Yamoto Tanooka had learned enough and the military found him. In surprisingly good health.

Ok, his dad meant to go back for him, but by that time he was lost in the wilderness of Hokkaido island. And I feel sorry for the dad. The kid not only got over it, but will forever be a hero. He’s fine. But dad?? Fuck me; what kind of parenting is that? But give him a break. His remorse will live with him always.

Mohammed Ali died today. According to the radio today, he was the greatest man of all time. Anywhere, ever.

And in many ways, for a guy famous for hitting people very hard and causing injury, he may well be just that.

I hate boxing. Bores me. Never seen the point. Don’t watch it. But I did. Only for Ali fights. Everybody did. Because he was brilliantly clever, wondrously witty and beautiful to look at. Other than that he didn’t have a lot going for him. He invented ‘sporting hype’ single-handedly. Or single-mouthingly. He was gobby. Wonderfully so. He was a poet, a civil rights activist, comedian and probably the best heavyweight boxer ever.

For once the endless eulogising is worthwhile.

Rest in peace

A xxxx