Its amazing, profound and highly significant.

I just googled to see what ‘bitch’ is in French. Not that most French people wouldn’t understand, if not the word itself, certainly the tone in which it is uttered. But what I found was 756,371 sites (ok, I didn’t count them all, but certainly more than 20) dedicated to swearing at the French in their own language. More than exist for any other language (errr… probably) and more than for any other nationality. Because you need to insult French people much more than any others, more than all the others put together. Its a fact. And to do it in English, whilst kind of rewarding to a degree, simply lacks the unambiguous joy of calling someone a ‘chienne’ or ‘putain’ or a ‘totalement wankeur’.
It avoids that possibly horrible situation of having a conversation explaining what ‘tosser’ means, or ‘bollox’ to someone who smells of garlic and doesn’t wash their hair.

And the reason for this search for further education, other than just for academic research purposes, the reason I need to call a bitch a bitch is because Anne Hildago, the deputy mayor of Paris, has earned that right to be so insulted. No, not just because she’s French, used to be Francois Hollande’s ‘culture minister’ until recently (read: shagged her way to the top, obviously), nor because she’s a nob (sorry, doesn’t really translate, that one; not in the feminine anyway).

She accused Boris Johnson, the mayor of London, of ‘claiming’ that London is now more popular than Paris. A claim based on a mildly creative use of statistics, the likes of which haven’t been seen since Enron folded, I concede. But it is true. Last summer 20% more people visited Londres than did the year before, which was the Olympic Year. Millions of (fucking) foreigners, enjoying our City, taking in the sites, picking our pockets and raping our wildlife. So many that London (according to Boris) is now more popular than Paris. Add to that the relatively small number of French people we have here compared to there and London becomes much much much better.

So Mdme Deputy Mayor de Paris; how d’ya like them pommes?
And what is a ‘deputy’ mayor, in fact? Its like a deputy road-sweeper. A deputy bus conductor. What’s its point? Its ‘raison d’etre’?? (translate that, ya bitch!) We don’t have a deputy mayor, we have decent, nice, clean people instead.

Like Lord Rennard.

He’s clean. For a lib-dem. But he has issues. Or rather, others have issues with him. Women, mainly, who accused him of being ‘inappropriate’ (fondling), mildly abusive (groping) and essentially a very very naughty Lord. He denies it. All 11 of them were just imagining it, maybe even wishing secretly that the obese, sweaty Billy Bunter clone would in fact molest them sexually.

But he won’t apologise. Instead wants to come back to the government as if nothing had ever happened. Quite right too. Sexual abuse is just soooooo zeitgeist. In almost every court in the land. We are turning in to a nation of perverts.

Come to London: get groped.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx