When is the news not the news? Either when its fake news or when its no news. Or both.

So Donald Trump tweets ‘look at England; their Universal Medical… thing (he almost said it like that, really) is broke and not working’. So we must assume that his use of the word ‘broke’ is not the moronic form of ‘broken’, but in fact ‘broke’ as in ‘stony’, as in bancrupt, as in skint. Cos he’s got ‘broken’ covered with ‘not working’. And the President of the Unaaaarted States of ‘Merica would surely not employ repetition out of ignorance, surely? So the NHS, according to Trump, uber-businessman and savvy beyond savvy, is broke. As it has been since the day it opened, in 1948. The whole point of ‘nationalised healthcare’ is that it is paid for out of the nation’s coffers. Out of taxes. The day they bought their first sticking plaster the balance sheet went into the red and its been there, in ever-increasing degrees, ever since. It has never made a profit, never made a penny, and it never will. As then it wouldn’t be ‘nationalised’ no more, would it? And all this to avoid installing any kind of social medical care in the States. Tosser.

Then there’s Paul Townsley. Who? I’ll tell you who. The other night Jacob Rees-Mogg, Tory leader-in-waiting, uber-nerd bible-basher and Brexiteer to the stars, was giving a talk at Bristol University. Which was infiltrated (ish) by a band of left-wing, balaclava-wearing, militant-types (who in reality were just a bunch’a posh kids in fancy dress) who pushed and shoved weedy little Jacob. A kind of melee ensued in which, in the complete absence of security personnel (so they’re not that bright in Bristol, are they?), several people from the audience stood up and tried to protect the MP. No-one was aware at the time that it was just a kind of ‘stunt’, a protest. And one of the public to move in and help was Paul Townsley. Ohhhhh, him. All well and good so far. Decent chap. Until… NAZI-GATE!!!!!

Someone (with nothing else to do out there in newspaper-land) found a picture of Paul dressed as a nazi officer. OMG. Could it be that Rees-Mogg’s saviour was in fact a NAZI!! Like a real one???? Or was he a nazi sympathizer? Or even a far right radical yearning for the glory days of the Reich? Or could it be possible, as the photo was doubtless gleaned off Facebook, that it was in fact what is known (just ask Prince Harry) as ‘fancy’ and ‘dress’? When those two words are used together, all bets are off. All political correctness flies out of the window. You can dress as Kunte Kinte from Roots. You can dress as Raquel Welch from that stupid dinosaur movie, you can dress as Harvey Weinstein, ffs. But apparently, you can’t dress as a Nazi.

Must be desperate for news,

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx