I just want to mention Philip Schofield, not cos I like him, dislike him, have ever watched him or give two shits for anything he says or does. I just want to mention him. Simply because in this whole ‘I’M QUITTING ITV, FREVVER!!!!’ irrelevant, ‘who cares’ bullshit currently dominating all the headlines, one thing struck me as a bit odd. Coming from Mr Nice Guy, Sweet-as-Pie, make that Mr Nice Gay, I’m still the wovverley, cudderwy wittle nonce I always was, whichever way my ship sails, the comment about his ‘affair’ as being ‘unwise but not illegal’ set alarm bells ringing. Well, my alarm bells. You could use such an expression in the context of a tax avoidance scheme, maybe, and possibly get away with it. Possibly parking in someone else’s driveway. But in relation to anything sexual it takes on a whole other narrative. Because when sex is involved, what’s illegal? Certainly not sex between men, that was legalised in 197-something, though soon to be banned in America if Desantis becomes president, and certainly not anything extra-marital because no one cares what 3rd rate celebs do in or out of their marriages. So to even raise the question of ‘legal’ or ‘not legal’, we must be talking about age. And then, the very next day, we learn that Smiley Phil actually met this ‘man’ when he was just 15. But the affair didn’t start til the kid- SORRY!!!!- not ‘kid’, obviously, but MAN, big MAN, was 18. And in the interim we can therefore assume there was no pressure, no promises, no insinuation of career prospects, as this boy/man worked with Schofield. No, if Phil says it was all kosher and Marquis of Queensbury rules, I’m happy with that.

I really wanted to talk about the last day of the football season. Spurs won!!!! How happy that made me. Oh, really? No, I’m been over this season since January. But then it was Leicester or Everton going down. Leicester are winning!, now they’re 2-0 up against West Ham, Everton will be going down!!! Now Everton have scored!!!! And its Leicester will go down unless… unless nothing. Leicester are down. I’ll miss them like I miss having a covid jab every 4 months. Not sure I’m thrilled about Everton staying up but I don’t get a vote. And so the season’s over, we have no manage, no director of football, all previously considered options have flown to pastures new and we’re left, once more, sifting through the also rans. I love football.

Happy Bank Holiday Monday

A xxxx