So following a week of solid electioneering, I decided to take a break from politics, just for the day. And focus on more important things. Like Lila and Joey. Kicked out of school for the week for half term, abandoned by their parents who rushed off to work, those poor kids were dumped at us for 7.45. And the peaceful morning vibe is thus shattered in a whirl of frantic activity and noise. Loads of noise. And eating. Joey sets up a race-track in the kitchen, with a little help, for his whizz-cars or whatever they are. Lila brings a box of about 25 Barbie dolls and dumps them on the floor. All of them. And Ken. We bought a Ken, because Joey moaned that all the Barbies were gels. Which they generally are. Not one Barbie identifies as Ken. Not one has a penis. Neither does Ken. But he has a football. So must be a ‘boy’. Sporting equipment is now elevated to a ‘secondary sexual characteristic’. For Barbie purposes only. Don’t tell Leah Williamson.

After breakfast we rushed up to the wasteland between Edgware and Radlett. I call it a wasteland but you might see it as just ‘countryside’, depends on your perspective. No building, no tower blocks, no Tesco Local, issa wasteland. But there they’ve made ‘Europe’s largest Crazy Golf’. Never crazier than with Joey lying across the hole or beating the shit out of the footpath with his ‘bat’. But it was brilliant. The grandkids are naturals. Just, not necessarily at golf. Yet as they both love dressing up in funny clothes, golf could be their natural sport. Their grandmother was doing well until she 7-putted on the 11th. But then, (inevitable) tragedy on the 15th; it started pissing down with rain. We gave the kids a choice: play on in the miserable weather getting wet and depressed, or go to McDonalds where the sun is always shining!!! And you get toys. And I get to eat my twice yearly treat of… of rubbish.

After lunch, which was really early, the sun came out so we went to the park with the bikes. Their bikes. So you push them up the hills and pull them on the way down to hold them back. And that was fun. At the end of which we were ready for bed. Unfortunately, Lila and Joey refused to put us to bed, so we had to play on, make dinner and start the massive clear-up programme, room-by-room, corner to corner.

Joey has never been convicted of any crime. God knows how. But even if he had, he could, apparently, still stand to be the President of America. And arguably might be better than both current candidates for that job. At least he can walk without help and speak without sounding stupid.

I love half term.

Happy Friday

A xxxx