This was a very special weekend. Partly due to being in the biblical, spiritual homeland of all the world’s major Western religions and simply feeling that… godly fucking vibe, just permeating through your very fibre. Partly due to being on holiday, relaxed, fab experiences, hot and sunny. Yet mainly, really, attributable to a far more lofty cause. Spurs won a home game. I don’t even know if it was a good game, a worthy result, a ‘well-earned’ three points. Don’t give a shit about any of that. We played at Wembley and we won. That’s a first for this season, broken the duck, shattered the curse, re-written the book, whatever. Now we can think about winning properly. Away from home we ease to 4-0 wins, at home we struggle and just cling on to 1-0, but I JUST DON’T CARE.

What I do really care about is Crystal Palace. Poor lowly Palace, rooted to the bottom of the table with just a row of zeroes except for the ‘goals conceded’ column. No wins, no draws, no goals scored… just shit. What they needed, to break this duckiest of all imaginable ducks, was to be given a team to play who could possibly be even more shitty than they were. And that’s why God (who lives just round the corner here) invented Chelsea. As a gift for Crystal Palace to alleviate their plight. The 3 points they get for beating Chelsea is insufficient to lift them off the foot of the league, but its a start.

And in case the weekend hadn’t been good enough by then, holy moly, there was even more good things to come. Arsenal went to Watford. A team I like (Watford, not Arsenal, doh, obvs) but who generally don’t excel at the top level. Though this year they’ve been punching well above their weight. Surely it couldn’t last? Arsenal? They’re a (fairly) top team! (Normally) Play in the Champions League!! Have a host of top (under-performing, want-away, injured, brain-damaged) players who can win a game in 3 seconds! Surely Watford couldn’t hope to win against such a team. Surely??

And yet. And yet the Red Sea parted once. The fourth plane missed the Pentagon. Horrible rapist-types like Donald Trump or Harvey Weinstein DO become accountable for their past actions, and Watford can and do beat Arsenal.

Ok, West Ham didn’t lose so even HE didn’t get it all right, but all in all, a very very productive weekend. And all I had to do was lie in the sun and float on the Dead Sea. Glad to have had such a valuable contribution.

Happy Monday (from departure lounge, Ben Gurion Airport)

A xxxx