I am a weekend warrior!! Its official. I’d always thought I was an old git who liked standing on a tennis court with his mates talking about football before heading off for coffee and cakes. But no, I am WEEKEND WARRIOR!!!! a new class of beast that comes complete with its own exclamation marks. Said so in the Times, but if I’m honest I added the ‘!!!!’ myself. Just for dramatic effect.

Scientists followed 64,000 British adults over 10 years. I think we all have to agree that’s a fairly valid sample size and test period. I don’t think they meant, like, ‘stalked’ them. Just probably got them to fill in forms every week or something. Asking about activities of an excercisey nature. Upon which everyone famously lies a lot. “I sat in the pub all week drinking Stout and eating pork scratchings, other than when I was watching telly, eating pork scratchings, so I’ll just put a cross by ‘3 sessions of moderate cardio activity’, that’ll please ’em”. Its the universal way of survey-taking; lie.

What they found was that although ‘regular exercise’ is ‘the dream’, its one most workers can’t attain. So what we do is play tennis/cricket/golf (I’ll include that as ‘exercise’ but not ‘sport’, obviously) on a Saturday or Sunday or both, so we can justify the ridiculous amount of food and drink we shall consume over that same period. Well that’s what I do. And they found that these WWs were a massive, humungous, life-affirming 30%!!!!! less likely to die during the study period. That’s a big ‘wow!’ Just a couple of sessions a week, a few brisk walks, and you’ll live 30% longer, or have a 70% chance of not dying today.

But during the course of the study, 9,000 of the sample died, out of the 64,000 that began. That’s a loss of about 14%. All the fat, lazy Netflix addicts. Presumably. Or so you’d think.

What I want to know is; if you took 64,000 adults over 10 years and didn’t get them to fill in any forms upon which they had to lie through their teeth and make up exercise they never intended to partake in, would you still lose 14%? Is it the study itself that is actually killing perfectly healthy, ok a bit tubby, but normal people?? I demand a re-count.

Donald Trump is unhealthy. In so many ways. He’s fat, actually clinically obese, hair-dye chemicals are notoriously carcinogenic, and his brain doesn’t work in a normal way. Well, not in a normal ‘adult’ way. He is a moron, in fact. I’ve performed my own study and that is the unquestionable conclusion. He’s almost the President of the most powerful nation on Earth, yet responds to any slight or slur by instantly ‘tweeting’ the first thing that comes into that dull mind of his. Playground shit. ‘NO; MY DAD COULD BEAT UP YOUR DAD!!!’ kind of crap.

Meryl Streep called him out for abusing a disabled reporter, itself not the most adult-like behaviour, so he tweeted that ‘she’s no good anyway’ and ‘just a big loser’. And next week he’s going to be the President.

Hail to the Chief.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx