Iss science, innit. Physics. Mechanics. Fermodynamics. What goes up must come down.

So having gone all the way up north on Saturday, to darkest Yorkshire (its all dark, ooop there), we came back down to the real world. But instead of coming back on the arduous, tortuous, roadwork-eous, 50mph fucking speed camera-ous, miserable M1, we instead chose the A1. The ‘old north road’. The one that was so bad that the world’s first motorway, the M1, was built to replace, relieve, relax. Ironic. The 200 miles we traveled back down the A1 saw no roadworks, no hold-ups, no aggro, no frustration and only about 5 speed cameras in total. And its somehow prettier. Less concrete. Better view. Nicer way to spend 200 miles.

Also ‘coming down’ is the deputy leader of the Scottish Nationalist Party. Now resigned. Stewart Hosie. Who? Think Nicola Sturgeon in drag. Although Nicola Sturgeon already looks like a schoolboy in drag anyway. And Stewie was caught if not exactly with his pants down, or his kilt up, or whatever, being involved with political journalist Serena Cowdy. Who had just finished breaking up someone else’s marriage, another Scottish MP and seemed to be working her way round the Scottish parliament alphabetically.

I don’t care who she has affairs with. If she’s happy breaking up families its she that will rot in the hellfires of eternal damnation. Even though she’s not Scottish, so may not buy into that harsh Calvanism or extreme Catholicism that they seem to love up there almost as much as Whisky.

But apparently her affair with ‘the previous one’, Angus MacNeil (certainly not an Indian name, that one), involved ‘trystes’ (read: ‘shaggin”) at a London hotel, to the tune of £6350, which Angus charged to us. The taxpayers. To me. Personally. So he could get his leg over; I pay the fucking bill. Yet I suppose that’s part of the ‘anti-austerity’ that the Scots are always banging on about. Whilst they’re banging…

Jose Morinho is the new manager of Manchester United. Almost. Been paid £4mil, a pittance, just as a ‘retainer’ not to seek work elsewhere. And now the ‘Special One’ is to be the next guv’nor at Old Traf. But no-one bothered to tell incumbent (ish) manager Louis Van Gaal. His wife found out on the news and texted him when he was on his way back from winning the cup final. Ok, Luis has been a total disaster at Man U. FA Cup notwithstanding, he’s taken one of the world’s most attacking, exciting and great sides and turned them into Hull. Personally I was hoping they’d keep ‘their confidence in the manager’ and keep him for another year or two. Then that would be one less team we’d have to be concerned about. Shame.

Happy Monday

A xxxx