We left Christchurch. We’d been there 10 hours and, even though 8 of those were sleeping, we’d seen everything. Not that its not lovely. Just small. Quaint. And we set off into the great unknown. Into the very heart of New Zealand’s South Island. We were entering… The Hobit!

Here’s the rules. Speed limits are 100kph on highways, which are all two lane. One in each direction And 50kph in town. I can walk faster than that. So it feels. And if you go more than 4kph faster than the limit, you go to jail for 10 years. Get fined 20,000 whatever the local currency is. They take speeding very seriously in NZ. A sure sign that no much crime happens here. Australia too, where you’d imagine far more crimes taking place, they have a thing about speed limits too.

We drove to Lake Tekapo. Big. Wet. Surrounded by mountains. Quite beautiful. So beautiful we left and went to the next one. Lake Pukaki. Even bigger. Wetter. More beautiful. They’re glacial lakes and thus, filled with glacial silica, show as turquoise in the sunshine. Which is impressive. If Paul Pogba is worth 300 grand a week, what would you pay for a lake that shines turquoise when the sun shines?

Then an oddity. The traffic stopped. But like totally. Unmoving. And its really not the kind of place you can just ‘turn round and pick up the B.839 via Droitwich’ instead. No. This is one road country. The traffic stops; you wait. Then a police car comes along and stops at every car to explain and ask for your continued patience.

Like you have any FUCKING CHOICE!!. And I really really DON’T HAVE ANY PATIENCE!!! But I just said ‘thank you, officer, can I clean your windshield for you, Sir?’
and left it at that.

There was a bush fire. Or a burning bush. Like Moses but without the God bit. Fortunately it rains quite a bit here so the extent was limited. And I’m sitting here as I write this (not driving, obvs) coming into our second hour. Though it has started moving very slowly past the problem.

We’ll be at Mount Cook soon. Ish.

Happy Wednesday (or whatever)

A xxxx

PS We’ve arrived and this place is amazing, spectacular and stunningly beautiful. Well worth… everything.