if I sang out of tune; would you stand up and walk out on me?

The wondrous Joe Cocker took those words, previously sung so… er… so… so mediocre-ly by Ringo, and elevated them to a new plane. And elevated himself to superstardom at the same time. Woodstock time. Yet more cast-iron proof that excessive drugs and alcohol, when mixed in just the wrong measures, produce simply perfect music. Ever since proper music gave way to ‘clean-living’ boy-band type tossers and they allowed vegans to write songs during Pilates, it has been the death of proper music. Which is why I won’t listen to anything post-1986. Other than shitloads of exceptions.

Anyway, poor Joe Cocker, died this week. 70 years old. Not particularly ancient but them’s the breaks.

Another who died way too young, back in 1982, was John Belushi, who lived a clean and healthy lifestyle. Other than cocaine by the kilo and any other drugs he could get up his nose, in his veins, down his throat. I loved John Belushi as he simply epitomised the extreme of ‘fuck you!!!’ attitude. And he used to do the most fantastic impersonation of Joe Cocker. The voice, the frantic mannerisms, everything, quite brilliant. One night on Saturday Night Live, Joe Cocker was the guest and they did a Joe Cocker duet. It takes a big man to stand up next to someone essentially charicaturising your every movement, so I guess Joe was a big man. John Belushi was very big.

And now they’re both dead. They’ve moved to the entertainment section in heaven. Which is fucking massive. So much talent.

But heh, its Christmas Eve! Bet you didn’t know that. So I thought I’d mention. Tonight Santa comes down the chimney, yeah, good luck with that, Fatso, and delivers presents for everyone except me. I don’t think I ever bought in to the whole Santa Claus shtick. I couldn’t work out how the presents went from the shops where we bought them, over to Lapland and back again, and who was paying whom? And how could he visit every house in the world in just 12 hours. Ok, plus time differences. Didn’t know you could get jet-lag from a sodding reindeer. I was such an annoying little fucker back then. Lucky I changed so profoundly then. Yeah. Right.

Well happy Christmas to all,

A xxxx