I’m in Greece. In case you missed that. And here on beautiful Kea Island there is a population of 2,500. Mostly Greeks, I’m guessing. The demographic of our hotel is a bit different. As it’s a hotel. Where forriners live. Not many cos its a really small hotel, so its a bit ‘intimate’. I don’t mean shaggin the chambermaid, I mean, small hotel, breakfast tables, sunbeds, proximity, it’s natural to smile at people. Particularly if you sat next to them yesterday and managed to nick a biscuit off their plate. You say ‘hello’, or even, if you’re feeling really, overly friendly, ‘good morning’.

There’s a few Greeks staying here, cos it’s easy to get here from Athens, so they do. There were a couple of Germans but we scared them away. There are quite a few Israelis, as Greece is very close and there are, generally, less missiles than at home. We have quite a few Americans and they’re friendly, in that loud way they have. And then there’s the French.

They have a reputation for haughtiness, even appearing almost ‘arrogant’ at times. Ok, all the time. They seem ‘snooty’, unfriendly and disapproving of virtually everything. Particularly, as in Greece, where they’re forced to speak English. Something which always upsets the French as they go into ‘Napoleon mode’ and regret not taking over the world and making it completely French-speaking, even though you’re a little shnip with a dodgy arm. So the French wake up pre-pissed-off, which manifests as looking like there’s a bad smell all around. And then it gets worse.

It’s so easy to spot the French. They’re the ones who ignore your smiles and ‘good mornings’, even if you’ve worked out their problem and offer a polite ‘bonjour’. Maybe these ones don’t speak French very well?

Well fuck ‘em. Not literally, the ones here are all ugly, not like the ones waiting your table on the Champs Elysee, who all look like Brigitte Bardot and Lea Seydoux. It’s simply not worth getting upset about.

And the answer to the question: what’s the French for ‘nice’, for ‘decent, civil, friendly’, is that they have no words for such things. There’s no need for them.

Fortunately the Greeks are wonderful and bring you all the lovely food you need, as long as you pay them for it. Seems to work well.

Happy Friday

A xxxx