What did we ever do before ‘WhatsApp groups’ were invented? What was our meaning in life? And that of our forebears? It was all meaningless. Pointless. But we all had way more time on our hands.

But they can be fun. Well, for me they can be fun. For others probably ‘really annoying’ and ‘stupid’ and ‘a waste of words’. Yet I realised my role in the grand scheme of things. My rightful place. As an ‘agent provocateur’. Not, like, the women’s lingerie version, the other one. That annoying bastard who’s always winding everyone up. Because why should everyone get an easy ride in life?

Because I just had a big ‘row’. On a WhatsApp group. Because… I called a woman a ‘bitch’!!!! Only because she was one. Not a woman on the group but a woman who was the president of the board at Penn State University. Oh, ‘that bitch’. Yup. The one who, before a government inquiry board, refused to say that Penn State would stop students from advocating ‘genocide to all Jews’, following the horrendous antisemitic incidents at her university. She was asked the question 10 times and contorted, obfuscated, evaded, eluded and avoided giving any statement which unequivocally said “Yes, we condemn such actions”. And then, a day later, she issued a grovelling retraction, stating categorically that she does condemn them and she’s not supporting the entire murder of every single jew in the world any longer. She’s done with genocide, she’s over it!!!

So I deployed… ‘the b-bomb’. Used to be the ‘b-word’, but its apparently been promoted whilst I was engaged elsewhere, into ‘the single word guaranteed to upset any post-modern woman more than any other… except… that other word they don’t like very much, the one you can’t print or God, bless Her, will strike you fucking DEAD!

And someone complained. ‘Disgusted’, she was, that such a word was uttered in her presence. So even though we were both in agreement that Ms President of Penn was a total bitch, only one of us was allowed to say it. Or possibly disallowed from saying it. But I refused to retract it. Because I like words. I like their richness, even whilst abusing them. I like the fact that words have different meanings. Another woman piped up because she saw the term as an insult to her dog. Female dog, obviously.

Yet sometimes you need to be gentle and considerate in your terminology but sometimes you can’t. There’s nothing in the world of gentle that can express exactly what you wish to say. And that’s when you upset the feminists. You have no choice.

To do anything else is just bollocks.

Happy Thursday

A xxxx