I’m 64. How did that happen? The Beatles released their song by that title in 1967. I was 11. Ringo was probably 20 years old. So ‘64’ to both of us was some science-fiction imaginary land inhabited by our grandparents, by the infirm, the wheelchair-bound, the disabled, silver-haired, crotchety, bent, stooped, senile and toothless.

Which, as predictions go, is pretty fucking accurate. Not in a wheelchair. Yet. But when I think or (worse still) write the number ‘64’ it is inconceivable that it represents my age. And yet, as of yesterday, it does. I checked my birth certificate, re-did the maths, checked with everyone and it would appear that I am, in fact, 64.

I celebrated by going in to work. Which was great. Because its so different from my (current) normal day. I went on the tube. By myself. Quite literally in fact as there’s still hardly anyone else using it. And I don’t have a carer yet. Yet.

I still drive like I did when I was 18. Which is, by your standards, ‘terribly’, but by Lewis Hamilton standards, ‘brilliantly’. Too fast, racing corners, rear slides on the high road, whatever get me there quicker. And today I turned off a main road onto a side road past a few cars waiting to pull out. One of which was half way across my side of the road. Even though there’s actually a line down the middle for the hard of thinking. And I managed to squeeze past (woman in a Mercedes SUV, if you’re interested in facile stereotypes) and just wanted to scream out: WHITE LINES MATTER!!!! Restrained myself. Because to make light of THE cause of the moment is to incur the wrath. I’d be seen as a slave-trade apologist, or sympathiser.

Covid is over!! Finished!!! Gone from our lives!!!!! Ok, I’m not counting China, obviously, where the bat-eaters are having a bit of a resurgence in Beijing. Unsurprisingly (to everyone outside China) it started again in a ‘food’ market (if you call bats, slugs and caterpillars ‘food’), but local authorities are blaming ‘European salmon’. As if. But we’re not scared of Covid any longer because we have… a steroid!!!!

You know that old legend that if you have enough monkeys with enough typewriters one will eventually come up with the complete works of Shakespeare? Well, if you have enough scientific researchers with enough drugs to play with, one will eventually turn up something useful. And a common-or-garden, cheap-as-chips, worldwide available steroid ‘saves lives’!!!!

It can save 1 person out of every 5 who is on a ventilator. And yet to hear our politicians speak, you’d imagine they now have the cure, the vaccine and a penis extension all rolled into one little, 50p per day pill.

But heh, its a start.

Poor Joey fell out of his high chair. Even though it looks like he’s just been at a BLM rally with Tommy Robinson.

Happy 64+ 1-day, Day

A xxxx