The answer to the question is: ‘when he’s a total c-‘, when he’s an obnoxious, arrogant, unapologetic, remorseless, unsympathetic cretin. You act like that, they take away your very Princey-ness. They can do that. His brother can do that. And he did. Because whatever good the Royals may have been doing; waving really nicely, shaking hands most sincerely, smiling benevolently, it all became secondary to Andrew’s historic antics an his choice of old friends. And that can’t continue. So Charles kicked him out of his home and un-Princed him. Andrew now has only his testicles to call his own. Only because no-one else wants them.

Life in the public eye can be demanding. Not only are higher standards expected of you, but every utterance you’ve ever publicly made can be brought back and used against you. Like… f’rinstance, if you were, say, the Chancellor of the Exchequer and you commit a crime. In fact a major crime and an even more major crime.

The first being that not holding a landlord license, which are all the rage this year, but only in about 4 boroughs, is a crime. It carries a criminal conviction. To such an extent that this very day I applied for mine for the little flat we rent out in the borough of Brent. After I read that you can fined £41,000 (where the f- do they get that from???) and earn a slot on the ‘rogue landlords’ list. Which is like the sex-offenders register for the marginally less sleazy. It became mandatory in April but I forgot. Even though, like Rachel Reeves (revised version), my agents told me about it.

The second of her crimes is way more serious. She either lied, made shit up or just changed her story. From ‘I never knew you needed a license’ to ‘my agents said they would sort it out for me’. The second of which immediately makes a lie of the first. And, of course, when Lady Rachel was a mere ‘shadow minister’ in Covid, she accused leniency showed to then chancellor, Rishi Sunak, for breaking Covid rules, as being ‘ONE LAW FOR THEM AND ONE FOR US!!!’ (Her exclamation marks). She then demanded his resignation.

So I hereby accuse the Chancellor of the Exchequer of being a lying, cheating, ‘rogue landlord’, hypocritical, two-faced toe-rag. And demand her resignation. Any time between now and the upcoming budget would be fine with me.

Because the PM ‘forgiving her’ is just so much total bollocks. Can everyone who fails to get a license get a Prime Ministerial ‘pardon’ then? Or, better still, he can pay the £640 license fee for me.

Happy Friday

A xxxx