So now, if I’m ‘reading’ this situation clearly (do I EVER do otherwise????), it is thus:

We’re contracting Omicron so fast that it can defy the speed of light and infect people BEFORE they come into contact with it. Half the world’s population will have Omicron by… the time you read this, if not, by next Tuesday. And yet, only 3 people out of every 22 million actually have symptoms worse than a runny nose and sore throat. 1 person out of 9 billion will end up in hospital and that person is called Nigel Watson and he’s a fanatical anti-vaxxer, thus reaping what he sews. Half a person out of 13 trillion will die!!!! And his name is Kevin Watson and he will be fondly remembered as a dipstick who believed all the shit his stupid brother spouted.

However, despite the relative lack of seriousness of Omicron, it is so amazingly contagious that we need to stop its spread by finding as many ways as possible to make our lives miserable. Omicron dies in the face of the misery and suffering of its hosts. So mask wearing will continue, lockdowns may follow but as we rename everything with each new variant, we’ll call them ‘circuit-breakers’ this time. And, of course, anyone getting the virus will remove him/herself from society and isolate.

So basically, we’re facing (for most people), getting a cold. And to avoid that, we’re quite prepared to make sure that, as Omicron numbers continue to rise, society gradually grinds to a complete halt due to the sheer number of those ‘in isolation’.

There’ll be no-one to drive the tubes, collect the rubbish, wait tables in restaurants, kick footballs on pitches, drive ambulances, lorries, buses; serve in shops, fly planes or, most important of all, deliver pizzas! They’re all at home with runny noses. Waiting for their 9th vaccine. As everything gradually closes down. Other than the hospitals, but the doctors and nurses are all isolating. At least they’re not ‘overwhelmed’ as people don’t turn up to the hospital for a cold. They go to Boots and buy tissues. Sadly, Boots hasn’t opened due to staff shortages.

That’s the story as we fly off to Tenerife, as long as the flight crew turn up.

Happy Christmas Day, as long as Santa turns up.

A xxxx