… in the early hours of Tuesday morning? Well? Do you have an alibi??

There’s one enduring problem for the redevelopment of White Hart Lane. The proposed stadium rebuild, which will grow it from a 34,000 capacity to one of 56,000, in order to capitalise on those Spurs fans who are masochistic, depressive and who haven’t yet killed themselves during the start of this season, needs extra land in which to build this expanded stadium. So Tottenham have acquired all the adjacent land they need in order to ‘flip’ the current stadium through 90 degrees and turn it into a new kind of Disneyland, N15. A place of magic and thrills. And hopefully decent toilets. Rather than the current ground which is full of frustration and suicidal thoughts and stinks of piss.

The problem is (sorry, was) the Archway Sheet Metal Works Company, which has lived quite literally in the shadow of the wall of the ground. And they won’t move. Law suits are already in place. Rumours that the place is filled with Arsenal fans ranks higher than any facile protestations of family history and company requirements. Like Tottenham High Road is the only place that the Archway Company can work. About 5 miles from the ‘Archway’ of its name. Though there is obvious prestige in having your business is the most horrible, squalid, under-developed High Street in the country.

At approximately 5am yesterday morning, a fire started at the Archway Sheet Metal Works Company, which destroyed the building. Job done. Sorry, I mean: this tragic event is a sad day for all the local community (rioters, muggers, the killers of PC Blakelock, hookers, etc) and we all feel for the family and their business.

Investigators have been called in to find the cause of the fire. Obviously they’re looking for some Spurs arsonist, but in fact I see this as a modern day miracle. A ‘burning bush’ for the post-millennials. This was the ultimate ‘act of God’. Looking out for His own team.
Let us say: amen.

In an unrelated incident 2 Argentinians scored 6 goals last night. Police have been called in after rumours that Lionel Messi, in becoming the all-time top scorer in the European Champions League, in fact scored all 3 of his goals with his right foot. A feat, or feet, never before achieved by the wonderful little left-footed Argie. And you can only wonder at someone who, although famed for scoring spectacular and intricate goals, can also do the incredibly simple so well, so effortlessly and so wonderfully. I hope he plays till he’s 50.

The other Argentinian never has it so easy. Sergio Aguero IS Manchester City. They have no other threat, no other chance, not a fucking clue. But they just have Sergio and last night he showed that really, that’s pretty much all you need as he beat Bayern Munich 3-2.

3 shots on goal, all 3 on target, 3 goals. Ok, one was a penalty, which is almost like cheating, but it still has to be scored. Ask any Spurs fan who had the joy of watching Robbie Keane and Jermaine Defoe squander dozens.

White Hart Lane Nouveau. The dream takes a step closer to reality. Albeit a bit of a dodgy step.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx