Hi, my name’s Andy.

Hi Andy.

I haven’t worn a white t-shirt for 3 weeks now! 21 days, ‘clean’.

Yaaay, whooop, whaaaaa, all that pseudo-American celebratory bollocks.

But today, as you can see, I fell off the wagon.

Oooooohhhhhh.

The thing is, I pretty much live in white t-shirts. I wear one for tennis, I wear one for Tai Chi, I wear one under every working shirt in winter, spring and autumn and I just wear them all weekend. If I have to do ‘black tie’, I put that tie on a white t-shirt. Almost. I have, quite literally, hundreds of them. Some are pristine (for best), some have lost that glacier whiteness we love (for sports), some are a bit grey (gardening) and some are just a mess of spilled coffee and yeuch. These become our household dusters and car cleaning cloths. Then when they’re beyond even that, we eat them. Nothing is ever wasted in white t-shirt-land.

But my new shoulder was a bit beyond the rotation, gyration and stretch-ation required to don my favourite item of clothing. I had to use ‘shirt-shirts’. Proper ones. Which are easy to attach to the body and no contortion is required. Which is fine. But it didn’t ‘look like me’.

So this morning, after my bath (amazing what you have time for when you take sport out of the equation for a while) I thought… I thought… hmmmm… why don’t I just… and I did, and the rest is HISTORY!!!

And I just knew you’d be as thrilled as I am. I can be a scruff once more!

So although doing sport is off the agenda temporarily, watching it ain’t. And this weekend provides a virtual feast for the eyes. Spurs are playing hateful West Ham tomorrow. In my mind West Ham are Putin’s Russia and Spurs are Ukraine. Arsenal play today so likewise, whoever they’re playing (Aston Villa but its really of no consequence), Arsenal are China. Possibly North Korea.

There’s rugby. England play France tonight and the only glory my country can achieve is in preventing the French from winning the Grand Slam. We can be spoilers. (France don’t need a metaphorical hate-nation attached, they are one). And then tomorrow the new Formula One season starts. Not that I’m that engaged with it, but after the last race of last season ending so dramatically, I have to keep half an eye on a sport I barely consider a sport. I’m that desperate.

Have a lovely weekend. Whatever you wear.

A xxxx