The Mail is the most read paper in the country, normally because its online editions are free. And quite frankly, who would pay for shit like this? The country’s in an economic crisis, the prime minister fragile, leader of the opposition worthless, we’re on the verge of nuclear war, Chelsea just spent 300 mil in the transfer window, we lost the rugby to Scotland in the last minutes and yet the front page is given over to this person. The ‘older woman who took Harry’s virginity’. Message to the editor of the Mail:

NO-ONE FUCKING CARES!!!!

Whereas we do indeed care that Spurs are 1 nil up against Manchester City with just one minute, plus stoppage time, left to play.

I should have been there. It was written in the stars. But alas, not in my diary. Which instead reminded me that I had a ‘day of professional bollocks and lectures’ at County Hall, booked last September. So when some tickets came my way and I excitedly grabbed them, I then had to subsequently release them when the brutal realisation occurred. That I was to be at the South Bank for 10 and not return til 5. Just in time to see the final half hour. Which has been brutal, which has been frantic, panic-stricken, horrible, down-to-10-men-ish and quite frankly, horrible. But WE WON!!!!!! And I realise that we only beat ‘this year’s Manchester City’, who are nothing as good as ‘last year’s version’ but we can only play who they bring in the coach. And if they choose to bring this year’s Haaland and De Bruyne and Grealish, so much the better. Even though we beat them last year too, when they were good.

The rugby yesterday, which the mail decided was not as important as Harry and a slag in a field, was simply brilliant. Ok, would have been brilliant-er-er if England had won but it was such an outstanding match I almost didn’t mind. Ok, I did a bit.

And in The Mail tomorrow, right across the back pages, will be no mention of Spurs or Manchester City, but a feature on the first sexual experience of all the players from Accrington Stanley.

Incredibly happy Sunday

A xxxx