This weekend, Sunday morning to be precise, we’re off for a few days in Vienna. Mel’s birthday ‘surprise’ is well and truly out of the bag as the combined forces of British Airways, American Express and Mel’s almost obsessive need to ‘prepare her packing’ even for a 3-day, carry-on trip spilled all those beans. Which is fine. Its still a great thing to do and sorts out a birthday present. For someone ‘who has everything’. As most people in the Western World do. Ok, she doesn’t have a Lamborghini, nor a diamond-encrusted solid gold collar for the pet tiger she also doesn’t have, but I mean ‘within limits’. Because buying presents is always difficult. Which is why the expression ‘its the thought that counts’ came about. To excuse the giving of really awful presents, really dull offerings. The full expression is: ‘its the thought that counts and I obviously couldn’t think of anything decent’.

But if Mel ‘has everything’, then what present would you give to the Queen? She has her own Kingdom, so a box of Black Magic seems a bit lame by comparison. But yesterday Her Maj and Prince Phillip were in Rome so they popped round to the Pope’s for a cuppa tea. Fortunately he was in when they called, just hanging out a wash. She couldn’t exactly go round empty-handed so they took him a few groceries. And in return he gave Our Liz a photocopy of some old document and a little cross thing for little Prince George. A silver one to match the spoon in the wee baby’s mouth.

This was a meeting between the two leaders of Christianity. The Pope is head of the Catholics and the Queen is the chief executive of the Church of England. This was a meeting of the Bill Gates and Mark Zukerberg of the spiritual world. Big time. Old timers.
And in the relationship between Queen and Pope; who wears the trousers?

Its hard to give a gift to the Pope. Mainly because he’s pledged poverty and humility and a disociation from worldly materialism. But also because he lives in the complete luxury of a Saudi sheikh in the world’s most opulent palace surrounded by the most treasured artwork in the entire planet and ‘guarded’ (must be some kind of euphemism) by a bunch of pretty Swiss boys in fancy dress. Maybe he’s an American to have so little sense of the irony involved there?

It was a great meeting. They didn’t discuss the Falklands. Nor much else I’d imagine as he doesn’t speak much English and the Queen’s Spanish is a bit rusty. Like me she can probably order a beer in that language, maybe a burrito, but not much else.

They’ve found water in the solar system. No, not in Waitrose next to the wines and spirits, but on one of the moons of Saturn. And water, as we all know, is ‘the stuff of life’. Where there’s H2O there might, just might, be life. Though not necessarily as we know it, Jim.

This water is on a tiny little moon with a surface temperature of -180 degrees. Which is what we call ‘a bit chilly’. And water should be ice. Ahhh, but this water is 24 miles below the moon’s surface. Oh. Would be very interesting to se what ‘life’ could possibly evolve down there. I’m thinking animals with drills. Boring tools, or those capable of designing a very fast elevator. Can you even get a mobile phone signal down there when I struggle in my own kitchen? And what is life without an iphone?

Happy friday

A xxxx