Manchester City? Phah!
Liverpool?? Just fuck off!!!
Arsenal??? You’re joking, right??
Chelsea? I don’t think so.

The stock in those four clubs took a massive nose-dive yesterday as ‘serial winner’ and ‘best manager in all the world’, Antonio Conte, took the reins at (previously) hopeless Spurs. Because under Antonio’s stern, disciplined approach which is rich in tactical understanding and creativity, Spurs are going to win the league. Like; this year. For everyone else: its over. When Spurs march out on Sunday at Goodison Park, they will look nothing like the hapless band of losers who dragged themselves, stooped and limping, off the stadium of Tottenhamness last Saturday. This will be Spurs Nouveau. Spurs Re-du. This will be… SUPERSPURS!!! Because teams under Conte are WINNERS!!! He is a WINNER!. And so it is written…

In all the press. Whom this week I’ve managed to extend my normal ‘total contempt and ridicule’ beyond its norm. Because on Saturday I read a massive, double-page article the headline of which read: ‘WHY CONTE IS SUCH A PERFECT FIT FOR MANCHESTER UNITED’. But unfortunately for the press, and for Spurs, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s team won, rendering the headline redundant for at least another week. And now they’re frantically re-writing it as ‘WHY CONTE IS SUCH A PERFECT FIT FOR SPURS’. Just scrub out ‘underperforming, miserable Pogba’ and replace it with ‘Kane’… near useless Maguire, with any Spurs defender really, and you have your article.

Hyperbole aside though, Conte does win things. Ok, he’s never met such a trophyphobic team as mine before, but he went to mediocre Juventus and turned them into immediate and serial winners. He did the same at Chelsea and again at Inter Milan. He comes, he wins, he goes. Let’s hope he’s sufficiently ‘here’ to get to the winning bit before the ‘goes’ kicks in. Spurs managers aren’t generally given unlimited time. If any. Ask Nuno.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx