There was a famous advert on tv for Mars bars, many decades back, which used the line: a Mars a day helps you work, rest and play. And it showed how this (still) wonderful treat gives you energy to work and play, whilst… really not sure where the ‘rest’ came in, but it rounds off the ad nicely. It was all about ‘energy’. Surely, if you eat 2 you can work, play and rest even more fully? The original slogan: ‘a Mars a day helps you… get FAT!’ was rejected by the marketing team, despite its honesty.

We need energy to survive. You put petrol in a car (if you’re an environment-killing, air-polluting total BASTARD!) and that is used to produce the power. Similarly, you put ‘energy’ in a human and they can function. And in food that ‘energy’ is measured in kilo-Calories. Which is a term with serious baggage for dieters and the food conscious. (Speaking of dieting, I decided yesterday, as Mel & I were finishing off a jumbo bag of pretzels as a pre-dinner ‘snack’, that our 5-2 diet intention has now officially become modified to a 7-nil).

So energy in, wakefulness and different energy out. Runners eat pasta, boxers eat half a cow and two pigs, 3 chickens and a dozen eggs for breakfast. Because hard exercise burns energy and if you don’t put sufficient fuel in, the engine will seize up. (I like this metaphor and thus will push it towards the outrageously ridiculous, where all metaphors belong). Porridge is a really healthy, fibrous, energy-giving start to the day. And is very calorific. But no-one minds those calories. And breakfast is indeed the best meal to ingest hi-carb calories.

We give our energy levels a ‘boost’ at times. The morning coffee ritual used by so many gives us caffeine, which is a drug appearing to lift energy levels without the need for horrible accompanying calories. Cocaine is even better (which, originally, was the ‘secret ingredient of the fizzy drink which shares its nickname), amphetamines better still. But drugs tend to give ‘false energy’ and making you feel energetic without anything to back it up, so you burn your own muscles instead.

And sugar is the simplest way to intake calories, or ‘energy’ as those pesky little k-cals can also be known. Even though refined sugar is metabolised in such a way as to make fat rather than create actual, useable ‘energy’. Even though it feels like it does. Because, like caffeine, it gives you a ‘buzz’. A ‘rush’. And that is as addictive as, maybe not cocaine, but pretty close.

So is there a problem with selling ‘energy drinks’ to kids? I don’t think so. Could there be a correlation between kids in the UK consuming 50% more ‘energy drinks’ than in… Europe and the fact that we’re the most obese nation on the planet. (I’m not including America, obviously, because I’m not sure, under current leadership, that’s its still on this planet). Is there an issue with getting children addicted to cans of shit containing up to 20 sugar cubes and two double espressos of caffeine? That they drink 3 or 4 times a day? What’s the problem? Just give your kids ‘energy drink money’ every day along with the ammunition allowance for their guns. Its fine.

Happy Friday

A xxxx