You’ll know when the world’s ending because the bible gave us lots of clues to look out for. “Nation fighting nation” is one of them. And as that’s pretty much a constant since humans evolved, we can tick that box. “Food shortages” is another, exacerbated by one of the horsemen of the apocalypse. Well last week Waitrose ran out of a particular type of chilli hummus I’m rather fond of, so we can tick that box too. As for “religious hypocrisy”, we have the wonderful example by none less that our very own Archbishop of Canterbury, the most Christian Christian in the world other than the Pope, who’s another fucking hypocrite too. But Justin Welby apparently was aware, back in 2013 of one of the highest members of the church who had abused over 120 boys. And Welby did… nothing. As with the Pope, protecting the ‘reputation of the church’ is way more important than children being abused and having their entire lives ruined, so Welby made that decision. If that’s not hypocrisy, I know not what the words mean. Tosser.

But no-where in the catalogue of identifiable precursors of the ‘end of the world’, not on any of those boards strange men used to carry round Oxford Circus as they proclaimed ‘the end is nigh’, was written that Manchester City would lose four consecutive games whilst under Pep Guardiola’s managership.

So now I’m really worried. In a way that even Greta Thunberg could never be. Because I completed my education and didn’t waste it sitting outside the school holding a fucking placard.

Because City just don’t do that. Ok, the loss to Spurs was in Carabao Cup but still represents a loss. Losing to Sporting in the week in the Champions League hurt, especially losing 4-1. And two losses to our south coast seaside towns in the league puts them 5 points behind Liverpool. Even Arsenal could possibly catch them today, though I wouldn’t bet on Arsenal at Chelsea. Or anywhere else really, but that would be on principle.

Spurs are playing first. If we beat Ipswich Town we go above Arsenal for at least the 2 hours before the result at Chelsea. And that, in my world, is what counts as ‘success’. Who needs cups, medals, financial rewards, when you can sit above Arsenal and really enjoy it, albeit for a rather limited time. How many texts can you send in 2 hours?

(It better be a) Happy Sunday

A xxxx