In 2016 they’re going to elect a new American president. The 45th. How many can you name? Ok, George Washington, he was the first, so they named a bridge after him. Then Brooklyn Beckham, he must have been a president because there’s a bridge named after him too. Next was John F. Kennedy, then Marilyn Monroe, Richard Nixon, a Roosevelt or two, J. Edgar Hoover, who wasn’t a president but he was gay, Ronald Regan, Bill Clinton and Michael Douglas. Oh, and some Bushes. Lots of them. All called George due to a peculiar form of ‘name blindness’ in the family which means all children are only and always called ‘George’. Except Jeb. Which stands for John Ellis Bush. Its an acronym. Geddit? And they’re already calling Jeb ’45’. Much as they call his brother, George W, 43, and his father, George HW, 41. I presume the numbers refer to their presidencies and not just to differentiate all the Georges if you can’t remember their middle names. They should have called him ‘Kate’ and avoided the issue altogether.

And there’s Barak Obama. The president who… er… hmmm… then he… well… er…

So to replace Barak they could just go for another cardboard cut-out, or they could go for Jeb. Who it is reckoned will definitely stand. Against Hilary Clinton for the Democrats. Anything her husband could do in the Oval Office she can do. Almost.

The world waits with baited everything for the next exciting development. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Queens Park Rangers won a match last night, lifting them off the foot of the Premiership table. Bless ’em. Harry Rednap’s job is safe for another week. They beat Aston Villa 2-0. And its that ‘0’ that is significant. Because Villa haven’t scored a goal in their last 5 matches. Which, if you’re standing for the American presidency, is not a problem. But if you’re a football team, its a big problem. A very big problem. You only ever need to score more goals than the team you’re playing. Anything more is a waste. Its showing off. Scoring the same as your opposition is dull, but at least you get a point. Which, in the case of Man United on Sunday, was a rather spectacular and quite amazing point to acquire. Spurs have yet to realise this fact. That scoring the odd goal, even the odd rabona, is simply insufficient to get you where you want to be. Where your fans need you to be. Aston Villa are now, deservedly, cos they can’t score, languishing just above the relegation zone. And they have just one point less than Spurs. So if they draw next weekend, obviously it would be 0-0, and Spurs lose, then we’re down with the dross. With suitable apologies for any supporters of teams ‘down there’ for any insult in that term may imply, which is totally intentional and any apology totally insincere. Your team is rubbish. End of. Sadly, so is mine.

Happy tuesday

A xxxx