What do doctors know? Well, they know lots about things they can’t do. Treat a virus. Make you young again. Prevent cancer. Stop heart attacks. See patients. But to give them credit, they can be useful. If you’re lucky enough to ever be able to see one as they remain in full-covid mode, locked in a security protected practice, guarded by seven armed pit-bullesque reception staff who only answer the phone between 9.15 and 9.17 on a Tuesday and only to make telephone appointments and tell you “DON’T COME IN TO THE PRACTICE!!!!”

So I managed to speak to one on Wednesday, by phone, obviously. She was very nice, I have to say. And was probably wearing a mask to speak, so I was safe. Because I have a pain. In the armpit. Strange I know. It’s a nerve pain, probably from the years of having a dodgy shoulder. Which has now been replaced, but they left most of the nerves in tact. Certainly this one. The troublesome one. I was happy with the phone bit because there is absolutely nothing you can see. So she prescribed me some pills which are great for nerve pain.

The above is part of the list of possible side effects, with their accompanying probabilities. Basically, I have a 90% chance of contracting a virus and a 10% chance of dropping dead. With pretty much everything else covered in between. But EVERYTHING.

I know this is standard ‘COVER YER ASS!!!’ tactics but there’s really so much that can go wrong. But really?

Then I had to ponder the other drugs they make you take. You know, you get to 60 and they change your ‘risk profile’ and force statins on you, make you take aspirin, plus various other shit. All of which come with similar warnings. So what about the combinations? I’m no conspiracy theorist but if I have a 60% chance of dyslexia from one drug and an 80% chance of loss of the use of one arm with another, then I have a 140% liyh9ose Beiojjl scieur ocwuouon cojssshoh

It’s fucking serious, man! Don’t take drugs! Unless you’re a Spurs fan, then TAKE EM ALL!!!!

Happy Friday

A xxxx