I’m gonna teach you some Yiddish. Even though I don’t know much myself. But what I do know is profound. Yiddish only exists in the domain of the profound. Nothing is trivial for Jews. But I’m prepared to share some of this wonderful old language because there are times when ‘mere’ English words can’t suitably express the depth of feeling, it just lacks the… the… the gansa geshechtiness of Yiddish. (Because Yiddish is very much like German, the ‘ch’ in not as in ‘chair’, but the hard, guttural sound of trying to cough a fish-bone out of your throat).

Like a ‘shmuck’, f’rinstance. A word, as with so many, which has entered mainstream American, where they’ve ruined it, just like they did with English. You can’t trust Americans with your language. A schmuck is an idiot. But more so. Much worse. An idiot can be forgiven for his stupidity, a shmuck will never be. Idiocy carries with it a naive ignorance, shmuckism carries intent!. Without the intent, he’s just a shlemeil.

Similarly the word ‘nachas’ means pride. And yet so much more. But never pride in yourself, only in others. It is pride by proxy. Pride is one of the deadly sins, nachas is something heavenly. Something to kvell about. (Kvelling is to show pride to the point where others want to punch you repeatedly in the head. Otherwise you’re not kvelling enough).

So Lila received her end of year ‘school’ (nursery) report. The word ‘glowing’ inadequately represents how much of a genius MY granddaughter is, how much pleasure she gives to all around her, how… how… how she is probably the most perfect and brilliant child ever created! At least until her brother came along. Though the jury’s still out on Joey. But, literally so. He’s in court this week on charges of vandalism, hooliganism, terrorism, wilful destruction and, worst of all, being a boy.

So I read Lila’s report. To Lila. Who had in fact already heard it. And as I read it, the level of nachas bestowed upon me was monumental. It was as if I’d written it. But perhaps my dyslexia was playing up because when I translated those wonderful written words into speech, something was lost in translation. And I read: “Lila is delightful and cheerful, always caring of her friends, blah, blah, blah…” it came out verbally as “Lila is the naughtiest girl in class. She’s horrible and she’s always hitting the other children, spitting and weeing in the corner of the room…” and Lila thought that hilarious. She knew what the words really said; kids only need to hear something once to remember everything. She didn’t say I was wrong, she didn’t protest the unfairness, she just sat there laughing, totally and excitedly engaged in this ‘new game’.

And I thought: ‘she gets me’. 90% of the world’s adult population don’t, but Lila, at 4, totally gets it. The abuse, the insults, the stupidity. And that gave me more nachas than a million words of praise from her nursery.

Happy still kvelling Tuesday

A xxxx