Its Yom Kippur. The Day of ‘Atonement’. Heaviest duty day of the Jewish year. And I’m in the last hour of my self-imposed, 25-hour ‘fast’. Don’t eat. Don’t drink. Unless I really need to. Don’t nuffink.

And don’t know why.

I’m not a religious man. I’m not a believer. In fact I’m almost anti-religious. Yet I fast on Yom Kippur. Because I come from a family that did the same, as they did, and they did… all the way back to Moses doing it. And that has a historic, kind’a ‘cool’ about it.

And when I’m here in London, I can slag off Britain, England, the parasitical monarchy, for all I’m worth. Among my very own. But when I travel, I will defend all of the above passionately. I become an uber-patriot. Soon as I leave the UK I’m Nigel Farage.

And this is the same with religion. I don’t pray, ever, I don’t do synagogue, but I love the fact that its there, unchanged, my whole life. And, unlike other religions, it does impart a certain ‘culture’ on its members. Not just chopped liver, though that is a pretty good reason all on its own. Its a connection. Its about being part of something that’s been persecuted for 5000 years (a tradition wonderfully continued by Jeremy Corbyn’s Labour Party) and yet survives.

So I go to synagogue. Mainly to stand outside in a stab-vest and hi-viz jacket with a radio in my ear providing ‘security’, because we have to, but also to enable others who do want to do the whole 9 yards of praying to do so to their heart’s content.

When I do actually enter the building, which is rare, its to go to an ‘explanatory service’ rather than 4 hours of mindless hebrew mumbling. And we have an ‘alternative rabbi’ who explains. And he’s young, beardless and fiercely intellectual. Oh, and very funny. He does a little ‘praying’ but that’s when we talk about Spurs, as it is written, amen. But generally its a philosophical exploration of ‘the day’.

We don’t ‘atone’ (hence the quotes) in any Christian sense of absolution for crimes. If only. No, we recognise where we have done wrong during the year and promise to try and do better. That’s it. Because we don’t do ‘eternal damnation’ either. Its just a way to try and be a better person next year. And you can’t fault that for a logic, can you?

The fasting is not a punishment. Its a statement that ‘today I’m simply too high, too spiritual, too Godly to bother with such mundane, materialistic shit as food, washing, sex (yes, banned too); today I’m communing with Him(/Her)’. And if you can’t get through to Him, you can always talk to your mates about football.

Happy Yom Kippur

A xxxxx