So we were sitting in the garden on Friday night, before dinner. Drinks. Nothing posh, more: how can I get pissed most quickly and efficiently? Because of the temporary absence of Lila, Joey & co, cos they’re in Crete, it was a small affair. Just us, the younger daughter and the adopted daughter. Well, we’ve never really adopted her but she’s an Aussie and when she lived in London for a few years, she was just ‘part of the team’. Long story but she’s been Rachie’s best mate since they were 2. Anyway, she’s on holiday, so over she comes.

And there was Friday night whisky (totally different from Sunday, Tuesday or Wednesday night’s) and there was chatter and laughter and chopped liver.

When, SUDDENLY, an alarm went off! In fact, three alarms went off. Which is a bit racist; don’t the government care if Aussies catch fire!!!! And the message was profound. A ‘warning’! “DON’T START ANY FIRES NEAR THINGS THAT MAY CATCH FIRE!!!!, it essentially said. Oh. I was on my round to the Heath with a box of matches for a bonfire. Glad they told me.

I have friends in Israel. They get ‘alarms’ quite frequently. To tell them missiles are coming. Get to a shelter. INCOMING!!! Clear and present danger. That’s the purpose of ‘alarms’. Shit is happening, and it’s happening NOW! Not: oh, best not to light fires near stuff like bone-dry wood; there’s a bit of a national problem going on, in case you missed it, cos you live in a fucking news-free vacuum! Half the country’s on fire. Yet what he sent was just a ‘warning’ and our PM should just address the nation with a list of ‘things to do and things NOT TO DO!!’ Not using ‘the alarm!!!’ It’s like sending out a national alarm to see if anyone could pick him up a pint of milk on their way home. Not its purpose. And so by using the ‘A-bomb’ for a warning which everyone knows; and those who don’t know aren’t going to listen to him anyway, dilutes the impact of the alarm system. We won’t be rushing to our phones to see what the government is saying. Because it’ll be something obvious and not any kind of emergency.

I’m not hating Andy Burnham. Just so you know. I want to. I almost need to. But he does talk a modicum of good sense. Not sure about ‘Number 10 North’, because it’s just more expense when all his plans are going to require massive amounts of cash. Which I will have to pay. When I’m not even allowed to use a hose pipe.

So I wouldn’t say I like him. But not hating a PM is no faint praise.

Happy Sunday

A xxxx