Not Charlie, he’s fine. It’s a metaphor, innit? The ‘king’ in this instance being Keir Starmer. Knight of the realm, King’s Counsel, Gooner and southern pooftah. And the new ‘king’, who shall ‘long live!’, is Andy Burnham. Former mayor of Manchester and… errrr… well, MAN OF THE NORTH!!! Proudly so. No shortening of those horrendous Manc vowels in that man’s life. If you cut him he’d bleed some horrible northern ale, all flat and warm and tasteless. Like his wife.

Because today’s the day that just 75,000 people get the chance to change our PM. That’s the size of the electorate in Makerfield. And if Burnham wins he’ll be an MP again, and he’ll challenge Starmer’s leadership, probably by breakfast tomorrow. This is probably the likely outcome of today’s vote. Because Reform’s vote has been reduced by the other bunch of sanitised neo-Nazis, Restore UK. Which will allow Andy a clear run.

Which, in turn, will be pretty much a(nother) disaster for Britain. The last thing we need is a ‘career politician’ in number 10. Having lawyers there is bad enough but at least they understand the ‘working world’ to some extent. They’ve been ‘in it’. Burnham not only lives exclusively within the rarified confines of politics-land but has restricted himself to the northern half of it at that. It’s like becoming an estate agent because you’ve played monopoly. On a board upon which ‘Piccadilly’ is not the one near Leicester Square, but 200 miles up the road.

Burnham will tax anyone who doesn’t speak like he does. He hates London. He resents the south. Probably jealous of Spurs.

So thank God for the football, as a wonderful distraction from the by-election.

I’m so glad I’m the biggest England fan ever. I have a 3 Lions tattoo just under my heart. Ok, it peels off, but it’s REAL to me. And I wouldn’t miss a match. Not counting those I’ve missed. But last night… LAST NIGHT!!!! I was in Texas! Ok, bit like the tattoo, I was there but not necessarily bodily. I only go there in person for KKK meetings. And the beers in my lounge are 3.50 a can as opposed to $15 at the match. It was a game of two halves. The first was more fun, the second more clinical for England. Harry Kane! HARRY KANE!!! Other than that stupid ‘stutter-step’ penalty miss (which I fucking HAAAAAAATE), he showed Andy Burnham the virtue of Londoners. Even Declan Rice was quite good, despite playing for Arsenal. Djed Spence was outstanding when he came on; being both London born and playing for Spurs. Brilliant match, fabulous time, lovin’ this World Cup. Til we draw.

Happy Thursday

A xxxx