I like to think I’m a ‘nice person’. I smile a lot. Even if I grimace on the inside. I’m quite friendly. Ok, ridiculously friendly, I talk to strangers on the tube, ffs That’s normally cause for calling the Psychiatric help-line. So I’m nice, Ok??? But when I get in a car, I’m not so nice. Not so friendly. No more ‘mr nice guy’, I become ‘that bastard’ who’s shouting, swearing, moaning, overtaking on a mini-roundabout, tail-gating, hooting, flashing… person we all hate. I always want to go just a little bit faster than the guy in front. And I let him/her/they know.

On my e-bike I’m probably worse. I stop for absolutely nothing; not traffic queues, not traffic lights, pedestrian lights, roadworks, I ride on the pavement, through shops, anything to keep moving. Though I’m always careful. And considerate. Particularly to those pedestrians. I never run any light when people are crossing. I don’t hassle them, as so many do, I allow them to cross, I even smile at them. To let them know I’m not a killer like the Lime bikers.

And this morning I was tested. Unfortunately I failed the test.

I stopped at a zebra crossing for 3 people to cross. I was being nice. Although some would say I was being uncharacteristically legal. 2 of them walked across, the third was a woman texting on her phone. Consequently she wasn’t ‘walking’ but dawdling, as texters always do, otherwise they get too many typos. There were cars waiting on the other side of the road too as this lady was casually putting a ‘like’ on her instagram, or messaging her friend about her new shoes.

And I thought: you selfish, entitled, inconsiderate…person. (My actual thoughts may have been slightly different and probably unprintable). And I told her. Not in those words. Much ‘nicer’ words. Told her to take her time; check her spelling; no rush.

Does this make me a ‘bad person’? Ok, a ‘worse person’?? Or am I JUST HUMAN!! and a little impatient? Very impatient? I’ve made inquiries about the practicalities and legalities of having a machine gun fitted to my bike.

I didn’t watch all the tennis final yesterday. I went out for about 3 hours in the middle. And I’m not saying that those two guys are not brilliant players, which they emphatically are. And it was incredible to see how, over the time (more than 4 hours!!) they’d gone from hardly seeing each other’s serves, to being able to return them consistently. So they’re not just ‘robots’, but AI robots!!! who learn as they go along! Hate to be all old and nostalgic, but I preferred watching humans who weren’t quite as good at tennis, but were much more fun.

What do I know?

Happy Monday

A xxxx