What a fab weekend!

My car got bashed, a tree deployed itself across my tennis court, it pissed down most of Saturday, I had to play in gale force winds on Sunday and Oxford Street is now closed to vehicles!!!

Honestly, I wish they’d close it to pedestrians too. I hate that street. But as I never travel along it, they can do what they like. Bearing in mind that: if Sadiq Khan thinks its a good idea, then I don’t.

Meghan Markle/Princess Harriet/Duchess of Wherever has been given an unroyal reprieve. A reprieve by the press and public for being a nasty, spoilt, father-upsetting bitch. Because the father she upset is officially (subject to contract), a nonce!!! He’s the baddest of bad people; a child abuser. So Meghan, who you always hated but I never stopped loving, can now be loved by the rest of you. See; it only took a little understanding.

But then, Spurs won. Not just ‘won’ but won at Chelsea! Where we never win. Unless we do. Which is, approximately, twice every 36 years. We doubled our average. And not just because Chelsea were shit, which they emphatically were, but because we were as emphatically great. And, uncharacteristically for this fixture, only one player was sent off. A very low red-card-count. And that was Cole Palmer. Who proved to be almost as obnoxious as he is ugly. A fabulous win.

Manchester United had a fabulous loss. They don’t win any longer. The fans vented their hatred upon, in no particular order: The Glazers, Jim Ratcliffe, the football director, the players, the staff and the dinner ladies. The only person spared their venom was Michael Carrick, who they don’t blame for the club’s current terrible malaise. And its kind’a nice, in a footballing world in which the manager gets the blame for everything and is generally given no time to improve things before his head is called for, that the fans actually give Carrick the benefit of the doubt. For now. And we must stress: Bournemouth did NOT win that game. Manchester United lost it.

So redemption for the weekend’s disasters. And we managed to finish the latest Slow Horses series. Which was, like all the previous series, simply fucking brilliant.

Making the weekend final score: Chelsea 0, Meghan Markle 3, Jackson Lamb 12. Its gets no better.

Happy Monday

A xxxx