The brother-in-law re-built a gorgeous old, rusty, rotten Alpha Spyder. Cut out all the bad bits, welded in new ones and about 3 years later: ta-daaaaah, a fab and pristine car. Then he made me a little Spitfire model. Made it from steel. Old bits of Alpha, bits of other cars he’d nicked as he walked by, few dismantled metal chairs, just… steel. And we wanted a stand. So we could properly display it permanently in the garden. With all the other metal… shit we have there. So the boy said: ‘well come and make one then’. And we did. He supervised; we did. Because before you weld something, you have to know its place in the world. And the angle at which it will meet that place. Not saying it’s an ‘exact science’; we weren’t building a space rocket. But you have to cut the struts and you then have to weld them on and then grind off the excess bits otherwise… the world would end, or some other disaster. Sparks flew. As you can see from the pic of Mel in mid spark-storm whilst angle-grinding. It’s possibly the most fun you can have with your clothes on. And you really need clothes on. Preferably flame-retardant ones, but just clothes will do. I was wearing shorts. I’ve only worn shorts since May. And got to enjoy a million tiny steel particles, each at about 800 degrees (not sure about the actual number, nor whether they were celciuses or Farenheits; but just fucking hot) spraying my lower legs. Told you it was fun. And at the end of it all; we had a stand!! Which actually stands. And doesn’t fall apart like if you tried using glue. Or sellotape. Which is what I would have done left to my own devices.

And whilst we were welding, Sir James Cleverly, the shadow minister for something or other, resigned his post in government and announced he’ll stand for London Mayor when the next election takes place in 2028. And I’m actually exited. Mainly because I simply cannot stand Sadiq Kahn, he makes my skin crawl. He’s an imbecile. Who has stayed in the role far too long because previous elections haven’t offered any serious alternative. There’s always some bird from the Lib Dems, as memorable as last night’s dream, a ‘Green’ with purple hair and a nose piercing who wants to pedestrianise the entire area of the M25, and a third rate Tory no-one’s ever heard of, or heard from again.

Well stand back and admire. James Cleverly is not just known to us, he’s pretty consistently liked or at least admired. He’s down-to-earth, plainly spoken and authoritative without being in any way arrogant. I wanted him as PM, back in the day, but you lot chose Liz Truss instead. How’d that work out for you???? But the best thing of all you can say about James is: he isn’t Sadiq Kahn. I’d vote for a fucking banana as mayor if it would get that impotent little tosser out of office. And James is all about London. Which we’ll need with Super-Manc, Andy Burnham in (both) Number 10(s).

Happy Welding

A xxxx