The thing I like about politics is that I love satire. And normally, you have to work out the satirical things and illuminate or illustrate them to get a cheap laugh. Whereas politics does it all by itself. All you have to do is say what actually happened and everyone falls about in fits of laughter.

Starmer’s out. Gone. Yesterday’s man. (Barely a ‘man’ in any real sense of the word). And the posturing, the positioning, the jostling has begun. Wes Streeting, the snake in the grass’s snake in the grass, has been aligning himself towards pole position for a long while. Takes the odd pot-shot at the PM just to keep us aware of it. In any other world you don’t slag off the boss. Angela Rayner has given up vaping so she can be PM. If only she could give up being obnoxious and northern, she might stand more of a chance. And then there’s ‘THE NEXT PM!!!’, Andy Burnham. Other than the current PM blocked him standing for a parliamentary seat so he’s not actually eligible. Never mind, he can be the Mayor of Manchester for life. Mayor of anywhere, so long as its not where I live.

Ok, Starmer hasn’t actually packed up his Nespresso machine from number 10 yet, but looking as the local election results come in, the ‘nation hath spoken’ and what its saying is: “FUCK OFF KIER!!!” in no uncertain terms.

And its not just here either. ‘Over there’ in America, they can’t actually sack a president. Unfortunately. But the daggers are presently coming out for the ‘next Republican candidate’. Assuming Trump doesn’t do a Put’n and change the constitution so he can become a dictator for life, he only has a couple years to go. After which, the assumption has always been that the prodigal ‘son’, JD Vance, would inherit the crown. He’s a lot like Trump but nastier, nigglier, like the school bully’s best mate. But now there are rumours that Secretary of State, Marco Rubio, from his previously understood role of ‘VP-2-be’, may not be happy in the underling role and is building his status up. And as Rubio, unlike Vance, can sway people with charm and intellect, rather than snide comments and knuckle-dusters, its now looking like he may not be happy being the future bridesmaid and is right now (I love a metaphor, however stretched) trying on white dresses.

Back here, the results keep coming in and, unless you’re Nigel Farage, they don’t make very good reading. Its a bloodbath for Labour, a tragedy for Starmer and, if they ‘lose Wales’ for the first time since Cardiff was born, that may be a vote too far even for Sir Kier to survive.

I think I’d rather have JD Vance than Angela Rayner.

Happy Friday

A xxxx