All last week they were saying: weather on the bank holiday weekend is gonna be shit. Dave’s coming, bringing winds, rain, snow (no joke there was a blizzard in the Herts game yesterday) and generally, weather not fit for tennis. And yet it’s been fab. Every day’s had sunny spells, warmth (almost) and loveliness. Ok, – Read More-
Joey’s in Miami. And is trying his hardest to out-gorgeous his grandfather in the battle of the balcony poseurs. Well, Jo-jo; YOU’VE GOT A LONG WAY TO GO!!! He’s not even holding a cigarette, FFS. I blame the parents. And with everything I do for that child… Back home, my favourite politician, Zack Polanski, continues – Read More-
Ali-G, God bless his immortal soul (as the actual ‘character’ is long dead even though its creator is alive and well), would always speak of ‘me mate Dave’. Invariably followed by some really stupid words, thoughts or actions. It was brilliant. Because we all have a ‘mate Dave’. Even if half insist on remaining Davids. – Read More-
I spend a lot of time… ok, 3 minutes a night, but according to Mel it’s ‘FOREVER!!!!’, flicking through 862 tv channels to see what’s on. FOMO. Which, in the world of streaming, is probably particularly annoying. But the thing is, streaming is great if you know what you want to watch. Yet is way – Read More-
I’ve created my own political party. Well, England used to have 2 parties, which served us well for a hundred years, with a few ‘peripherals’, like the Raving Loonies, the Monster Zomby party, the Greens and the Lib Dem’s (this rather insulting ranking is 100% intentional), just for the appearance of good democracy. I don’t – Read More-
Ok, here’s the situation: Spurs are 17th in the league. One point above relegation. We’ve lost 5 out of our last 6 games. The last of which was to one of the four teams below us in the table. At home. By 3-nil. So we need a ‘Blues Brothers moment’. ‘There’s 7 matches to play. – Read More-
I’ve never been to Dubai. I will do. Just as soon as I’ve bought the gold Ferrari, finished the gold leaf of the toilet seat and had the Range Rover diamond-encrusted. Also, if I’m honest, Mel and I need a ‘bit of work done’ before we’d feel comfortable in the Emirates Airlines first class lounge. – Read More-
I grew up in a different world. Kids were allowed to have fun, and most unusual for anyone born after 1970 to understand, we were allowed freedom. Jeffrey Epstein wasn’t invented until 2013, Jimmy Savile was still a national (vomit) treasure, even though there was not one person in the entire nation to whom he – Read More-
The foot is fine. Thanks for asking. So fine, I’ve forgotten about it. And I forgot today when I played tennis. In the glorious sunshine (good thing) and the howling winds (bad thing). The arctic temperatures we can cope with (indifferent thing, but shrivelled testicles is a bad thing). And feeling young and fit and – Read More-
Meta and Google have been found guilty of making kids addicted to ‘social media’. So fuck Meta and Google. They can afford the law suit which surely won’t amount to much more than… 5 million quid times… every kid in America plus… lawyer’s fees… errrrr… about 537 billion dollars. Plus change. Because the floodgates are – Read More-